If any one of us was asked if we knew the true meaning of gratitude, we would nod our heads... but do we really know what is it is? Do we really feel what gratitude feels like and receive its benefits, or do we operating out of an unconscious, robotic pattern? How do we hack the brain and body to truly FEEL gratitude and thereby receive all of its potent benefits? This article is going to be different than other “positivity or affirmation” based articles as we get into the hard science, the nitty gritty and breakdown the blockages to feeling gratitude.

What is gratitude... really?

Psychologists have defined gratitude as a positive emotional response when a human has the readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. It can also be defined as the human way of acknowledging the good things of life.( 1,2) It is not discounting the challenges you are currently facing, so that means it is possible to acknowledge what you appreciate or what is working, even in the most challenging situation. Amongst any circumstance you face, you can still acknowledge that what you’re experiencing is unpleasant or challenging, while also intentionally focusing on what is working

The Science of Gratitude:

Gratitude is actually the body experiencing “feel good” chemicals or neurotransmitters released from the brain, called serotonin and dopamine (3). These chemicals are released when we think “positive” thoughts. To me, this just means you are looking at the situation and seeing both sides. Positive, negative, feel good, unpleasant… these terms are all judgements of the mind. “Positive thoughts” make you “feel good” and feel gratitude because they support your mission, your life and your perspective in a beneficial way. “Negative thoughts” make you “feel bad” because they are close minded, one sided, destructive, not serving to your mission and not beneficial. It is as simple as that.

Now let’s jump into why people talk about meditation being so important for cultivating gratitude. How do we train the mind to more easily connect to gratitude? Meditation is simply when the mind is observing thoughts instead of reacting to them. When the mind is relaxed, the brain is producing more alpha waves. These are the same kind of brain waves experienced in meditation(4). Brain waves are simply how the brain communicates to the body to create emotions. A calm, relaxed mind that is experiencing alpha waves is more receptive to perceiving gratitude. This is similar to the concept that when you are relaxed lying on a beach, you’re more likely to notice little details such as the sunshine, how good your food tastes, how pretty the beach looks. But if you are in the middle of a stressful work meeting or in a heated discussion with someone, you are much less likely to focus on what’s great about your day, what you’re excited about, how much you enjoy your job or family, etc. On the other hand, when you are rushing around, angry, stressed or any other unpleasant emotion, your mind produces more beta waves. Beta waves are waves that can cause anxiety, high arousal, an inability to relax, and stress, or daydreaming, depression, and poor cognition when out of balance (4). When the mind is in a meditative state or experiencing gratitude, the brain produces many alpha waves and less beta waves. Again, we are simply learning how the brain operates so that we can use it to our advantage.

Why is experiencing gratitude a challenge for most of us?

As mentioned earlier, Joe Dispenza points out that most humans operate from unconscious patterns of the mind, meaning, they are not connected with the emotion when they express gratitude (2). Also, humans are hardwired to react from a place of survival, which causes us to focus on the negative, what’s not there, what’s not working… all to keep us safe. But you have probably realized that what you do out of fear and to have a false sense of safety does not bring you happiness. Joe states “When we are living in a program of survival, it’s very hard to feel grateful, and this takes away our awareness to see what is right in front of us. A person may have ten great things happening in their life, but instead they focus on that one thing that’s not working, because that’s what we do in survival—we prepare for worst-case scenarios so that they don’t happen again.” (2) This survival reaction is part of the human experience, it is not your fault and it is actually perfectly normal. Let me say that again, it is NOT your fault. When humans react from the mind out of habit, they do not give themselves enough time to experience this emotion for a long enough period of time for it to have an effect.

How to be shift out of this and what do we get out of it?

Acknowledge that your brain is wired for survival and that you are having a human experience.
Forgive yourself for any judgements towards yourself throughout this process.
Intentionally rewire the brain to see the beauty and appreciation in your present experience through gratitude exercises.
We’ve all learned how to walk, trained at the gym, practiced a skill, or consistently put effort into a hobby to improve… gratitude is no different.
See below for recommended exercises
Picture yourself rewiring every part of your brain as you complete these exercises.
That is exactly what is happening! What happens when a building is crumbling, damaged or a larger space is required for it’s new purpose? It is rebuilt!
Give yourself more time to truly connect with gratitude during any interaction.
For example, when someone says thank you, really take the time to look at them and actually FEEL that emotion when you say thank you. Take as long as you need. Take extra time to stare at all of the food available at thanksgiving, take the time to admire and appreciate your amazing holiday gift, no matter how big or small.
Consistency of this practice is KEY.

The most effective ways I have found to cultivate gratitude are:

Completing this gratitude journal every morning and night: (Search: “Gratitude: A Day and Night Reflection Journal (90 Days) (Inner World)” on Amazon.

Here’s a peek of the inside and why it’s unlike any other journal I have found. Most journals simply have “I am grateful for” with a few blank lines. This journal dives in much deeper, and has a nightly reflection to enhance the experience.

Gratitude meditations, alpha wave frequencies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSM6hVkYhIs

Educating myself on the topic of gratitude. Once the mind understands it, it is easier to practice it because you actually believe in it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ0cThanQ0w

Joe claims that when gratitude is deeply felt, it has dramatic effects on strengthening the immune system and upregulating important genes in the body. Studies have also shown that people that practiced gratitude reported better sleep, less fatigue, less depression, more confidence in their ability to care for themselves, and lower levels of systemic inflammation. People that did not practice gratitude showed negative affects on the immune system and cardiovascular system”. (2,3)

Testimonial: Ryan McBurney’s experience of gratitude

Out of everyone I know, one person that truly embodies gratitude and practices it every day is Ryan McBurney. Here is his testimonial on how this practice has benefitted him.

“As humans in this day in age, with technology, instant gratification and impulsive behaviors fed by marketing and advertising, we can often feel this insatiable desire or hunger for more… practicing gratitude has really calmed that for me; I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t have insatiable desires, I feel content after I receive and beyond satisfied, whereas before I never felt like I had enough. It wasn’t until I became consistent with my practice and began to deeply connect to the feeling of gratitude that I experienced the true power of it”

-Ryan McBurney

Take home message:

Last but not least, the most important realization I have had is that everything in life is a choice. If you don’t feel like you have a choice to feel good, then you have made the choice that you do not have a choice. Trust me, I’ve been there, it’s not fun, so hear me out. Based off choices we make, we have different experiences of life that can either benefit us by uplifting us or damage us by bringing us down. I could choose to be a victim, resentful, angry, focus on what I don’t have or don’t like. I could choose to think I never have enough, I’m never doing enough, or that life isn’t working out how I want to. But I could also choose to see the beauty in every situation, to see the lesson in the challenging or unpleasant situations, to see challenges as an opportunity to expand my capacity to see the gratitude in any situation, not just in the situations that are easy to be gratitude for. By intentionally choosing to find the beauty in each situation by getting creative, I enjoy all parts of life, not just the situations that “go my way” or “go how I expected them to”.

Choose to hack your physiology to tap into gratitude. Choose to see the appreciate in EVERY situation. Choose to see how much this changes the perception of your holiday season.

Happy Thanksgiving, happy Thanks-receiving, and happy Holidays!

References & Research

1 https://content.apa.org/record/2003-01140-012

2 https://blog.drjoedispenza.com/blog/gratitude/thanksgiving-and-authentic-gratitude

3 https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier#:~:text=In%20positive%20psychology%20research%2C%20gratitude,express%20gratitude%20in%20multiple%20ways.

4https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/