Radical Self Acceptance
By Melissa Manzer
“Why Arizona?” I get asked all the time. I realized my replies for why I left home in Upstate NY were less exciting than what was anticipated time and time again. It made me wonder, too; “Why Arizona?” I eventually found the words (or lack thereof) in one of the first books I dived into when the pandemic got its start;
“...the knowing is beyond and beneath language, so I have no language to use to translate it to anyone. Since it doesn’t use words to explain itself to me, I quit using words to explain myself to the world“ (1). In short, my intuition led me here; a seemingly illogical calling that I eventually summoned the courage to answer.
A little context.
The conditioned, cultural beliefs that shaped my childhood just never seemed to sit right. I was the one-and-the-same, open-minded kid who couldn’t understand why it was so crazy to think I could be a dancer and the quarterback of the football team. I loved sports and being outside. My little brother and I would stay out ‘til the street lights came on, at which point we would hightail it back home, pleased with ourselves that we had squeezed every last second out of our free time outside. Mom worked multiple jobs and Dad wasn’t around, so we had no choice but to become master creative survivalists! Basketball became my ticket out of “just survive” and into a place where I could thrive.
One of the greatest things it gave me was the opportunity to travel.
Every time I’d travel, the farther away I went, the closer I felt to myself. I collected one epiphany after another, and each time I did, I was able to shake off a layer of prejudice that I usually lugged around with me. Meeting people who were more exuberant and open liberated my mind. It enabled me to reconcile with the parts of myself that others deemed weird or different. I started to understand that life is all a state of mind and that confidence is a form of trust. It’s like a bet you place on yourself, and for the last six years, regardless of the odds, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing (2).
“I have learned that if I want to rise, I have to sink first. I have to search for and depend upon the voice of inner wisdom instead of the voice of outer approval” (1).
Feeling like I needed to throw myself out of the comfy nest I had built for myself, we sold our house, donated or sold everything we owned, including my small business and left everything in the rear view mirror. Talk about impulse! The rebel in me, the one exasperated by the social and familial constructs that said I could dance, but I couldn’t throw a football finally hit her tipping point. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was taking the first step out of a state of survival and into the state of creation; out of the comfort-seeking known and into the infinite world of possibilities that exists in the unknown (3).
So, here I am! I left the brutal cold winter months of New York to voluntarily sit in cold tubs. The irony is priceless. I’ve picked up a lot of helpful nuggets along the way; wisdom that has made its mark on my soul. I’m a bit of a quote connoisseur, so I hope some of my favorites leave a meaningful mark on yours, too.
With love,
Melissa
“I’m here to study myself. Dharma is basically a good recipe for how to cook yourself, how to soften the hardest, toughest piece of meat. Dharma is good instruction on how to stop cheating yourself, how to stop robbing yourself, how to find out who you really are. Not in the limited sense of ‘I need’ and ‘I’m gonna get,’ but through developing wakefulness as your habit.” -Pema Chödrön
“We are reminded that one day we may no longer be here. This awareness of impermanence is encouraged, so that when it is coupled with our appreciation of the enormous potential of our human existence, it will give us a sense of urgency that we must use every precious moment.” -His Holiness, The Dalai Lama
“The cold water brings you there [heightened state of awareness]. It’s merciless, but righteous.” -Wim Hof
“The warrior is the huntress who hunts herself.” -Don Miguel Ruiz
“...so that’s the big squeeze. Although you listen to all these teachings and you have all these practices as support, somehow it has to become real for you. The teachings and practices are like orange juice concentrate — that thick orange stuff in the can — and life is like the water. You have to mix it all together. Then you have good orange juice that you can bring out in a big pitcher for everyone to drink.” -Pema Chödrön
References:
1 Doyle, G. (2020). Untamed. The Dial Press.
2 Hof, W. (2020). The Wim Hof Method. Ebury Publishing.
3 Dispenza, J. (Gaia). 2019. Rewired with Dr. Joe Dispenza [Online series].
Author: Melissa Manzer
Melissa Manzer is a decorated athlete and fitness specialist. Hailing from Upstate NY, she's played basketball at the Division I and professional level. She's competed on the National stage as a 55kg Olympic Weightlifter and has been seen running through mud on NBC's "Spartan: Ultimate Team Challenge." She holds her masters degree in Exercise Science, and has earned advanced certifications from NASM, NASE, CrossFit, Spartan, and the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. She's a lead-by-example role model in the local communities she serves and looks forward to further evolving her entrepreneurial spirit here in Arizona.